Take A Pause

My chief struggle in life has been to find that ONE thing that I can divert all my energy and attention towards, the ONE thing that would bring me lasting fulfilment and joy. I do have ambition and the motivation to accomplish something meaningful, I just don’t know what that ‘something’ is. That’s not because there is nothing that I can think of that I’m interested in, no, quite the contrary – there are a million things that interest me. It’s been impossible to focus on one of them consistently over a long period of time. Ever since I graduated with a degree in Finance – I have been working 9-5 jobs that pay the bills and put food on the table. But something feels wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly appreciate and am grateful for all the things these jobs have done for me and my family. But I keep feeling like that main character from Mishima’s ‘The Sailor who fell from Grace with the Sea’ who always figured he was meant to do something special (he met with a rather grim fate). Every evening I go to bed thinking I’m meant to do something great, something that’s great for me. It doesn’t help that I happen to have a rather curious mind that’s interested in practically everything I come across. Here are a few of my interests, including ones I have actually invested some amount of time in exploring as a career option:

1: Birding

2: Watches / watchmaking

3: Personal Finance

4: Spirituality

5: Philosophy

6: Reading / Books

7: Music (keyboard)

8: YouTube / content creation

9: Weight lifting

10: Calisthenics

11: Sketching

12: Perfume making

13: Fountains pens

14: Book binding

15: Astronomy

Etc.

I think you get the idea. Now I consider myself to be someone who lacks the clarity that’s needed in how to manage all my interests in a way that, instead of being a Jack of all trades and a master of none, I am finally be able to get really good at one or two things. And hence this blog. I hope to understand myself better by thinking out loud and penning down my thoughts and perspectives on different things. Hope is to understand myself better, while also helping other people in my situation do the same.

– Pratik